Brain Sorbet

Sorry for poor quality of these collages. I put it down to the foul weather!

Cost Of Operation - An Arm & A Leg

Nose Job Gone Wrong

Eye feel funny

Her Beauty was Frozen in Time, but her Heart was Lost in the Past.

Cosmetic Surgery can't solve all of your Problems.

Lobotomy Poker Players

Cutting Edge Technology

Trust your mechanic

Theme of the Week - Medical Mishaps

Sorry for the early post, but I will be away from the computer tomorrow and not able to post. Thanks all!

How to behave in a dream

Remove Your Hat in the Theater

Eat Like A Bird

If you "eat like a bird," you may eat up to one-half your body weight every single day!

How to Keep your Cool in the Nut House

What every Young man Needs to Know

about How to behave at a Burlesque show

It's hard to land a Lady with a Sailors mouth

title taken from "A Sailors Guide to Love"

What to say and How to act during an FBI interrogation

How to Look and Where to Stand

A Man's Guide to Driving Women

How to Look and Where to Stand

A Ladies guide to Deep Sea Fishing

Haste Makes Mistakes

In his haste to prepare a prosthesis in time for his patient's book signing party, the veterinary orthopedist made a terrible faux paw.

Don't Leave Shoes Lying Around

Mined Your Peas...

The etiquette of drinking tea

while flying with the British Overseas Airways Corporation

The Date Crashers

 A proper young lady is never left alone with a man in the parlor.

Theme of the Week - Etiquette

The Swinging Jerks

Yolanda the Yo-Yo Queen

Jesus Christ Presents: The Holy Ghost Dancers

Cutting Edge Entertainment

Olga Sharpinova, a Russian immigrant, was a popular vaudevillian who performed two different acts each night. Her first performance was juggling knives which left the audience on the edge of their seats. It was her second act, hiccuping the Star Spangled Banner, which brought down the house.

One night, referred in the annals of vaudeville history as "Bloody Sunday," Olga involuntarily started hiccuping while juggling. The knives rained down on her body, even nicking the juggler in the jugular. Luckily there was a physician in the audience who saved her life by applying tourniquets to her wounds that he fashioned from the stage curtains.

She continued performing for a short time after the accident, but eventually quit to marry the doctor who saved her life. Years later, she wrote a bestselling memoir, "Life is Wounderful."

The Slaughterhouse Five

The Dark Side of Vaudeville.

Behind the Greenroom Door

The Von Krapp Family

The Von Krapp Family were big on the Austrian vaudeville scene back in the 30's and 40's. They had a unique act with a ventriloquist daughter and double jointed sons.
They had several hits in Austria including "A Gottle Of Geer and Schnitzels" and " Dualling Ukuleles*.

The Grim Reaper Show

No one dared to tell the Grim Reaper that his show sucked.

The Ventriloquist

He would throw his voice from the most unexpected places.

Ted "Wiggy" Pook

Ted "Wiggy" Pook - "The idiot and his uke" as he was known in the 20's and 30's, built quite a following in the frozen North and probably the only music hall artiste to play outdoors to several eskimos, a polar bear and a penguin during his world tour of both poles in 1935. His wig was insured for a staggering three thousand pounds and his ukulele was carved froma solid lump of whale blubber.

The Grayson Twins

The Grayson Twins who were billed as the "Musical duo with a million fishy tales" used to tour the variety theatres in between the wars with a unique act which included a sea anenome powered grand piano and a singing crab called Norris.

Theme of the Week - Vaudeville

X-Ray Wonder

Robot Theatre

Come On In!

Instant Face Lift

The (programmable) catalogue man

For the theme "Unnatural Wonders"

Hot Tomato Soup Spring

Ergot Outbreak

metabolism, nervous system, psyche

Colossus of Roads

What's Behind The Red Door?

Home Invasion

You hear a rustling at your front door. No, it's not an intruder, at least not the evil kind. It's just the Fuller Brush Man.

I realize you have to be a certain age to even know who the Fuller Brush Man is since door-to-door salesmen seem to be extinct these days.

Comes in on little cat feet

Behind the closed attic door, I just found a box of library discard books so I used them for this piece. It includes an art book, history book and one titled "Real Ghosts"--how timely is that?! The edited text came from the reverse side of the same page.

The experiment

For the temporary theme "What's on the other side of the closed door?"

V8 Rhinoceros

The brainchild of a mid-1960s joint venture between General Motors and the Consortium of Big Game hunters, the V8 Rhino was a wonder of bioengineering. Virtually indestructable, incredibly fuel inefficient, and adored by men with giant but fragile egos, the vehicular mammal in many ways was a precursor of GM's Hummer. Replacement parts proved the V8 Rhinos undoing. Finding a mechanic to service them in the heart of the Serengheti Plain proved nearly impossible. By the early 1970s, the Rhinos had fallen out of favor and ended up up on blocks and out to pasture. However, in the mid-1970s the diesel powered animals were rediscovered by young Masai warriors who took to customizing them. An entire subculture grew up around the customized rhinos as the young warriors would take them out for Saturday evening grazing designed to assert their status within the culture and catch the eye of potential girlfriends. Unfortunately, by the mid 1980s, the four on the floor quadrapeds once again fell out of favor and ended up back up on blocks. Today, the few remaining rhinos can be found at custom car shows or in wildlife reserves.

Carnival flyer

Theme of the Week - Unnatural Wonders

Sorry everyone, but for some odd reason, I got my days mixed up and forgot to post the theme yesterday. Thanks to Dylan for noticing and posting a temporary topic. So this week, you can do either theme, or both if you feel ambitious. Thanks!

Temporary theme

You stand before a closed door, on the other side strange sounds can be heard. Your imagination is getting the best of you... What's on the other side?

Belling the Cat

Belling the Cat

The mice assembled to consider measures to outwit the cruel and seemingly voracious cat. A number of ideas were put forth, but then a young mouse scurried forward and spoke. "What if we place a bell on a ribbon and slide it over the cat's neck so that whenever it tries to sneak up on us we will have advanced warning." The other mice considered this a first rate idea, until an old mouse spoke up. "That is all very well, but who is to bell the cat?" The mice looked at one another but none of them said a word. Then the old mouse continued. "I think we all know what I mean when I say "bell" the cat. The mice glanced at one another sheepishly. The old mouse lowered his voice and said, "I know a turtle down in New Jersey that can take care of this matter for us."

Moral: It always pays to hire a professional.

the Honey Bee and Me

based on the more popular story,

"the Grasshopper and the Ants"

The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

The wolf received an invitation to attend the annual town dance. He wanted to impress all the animals, so he went to the best tailor in town, the elephant, to buy a fancy new suit. The elephant took his measurements and then showed him the finest fabrics. The wolf picked out a sky blue silk for the jacket, an Egyptian white cotton for the shirt, and a black wool for the pants. After making his calculations, the elephant handed him a receipt for the cost of the suit. The wolf let out a loud howl when he saw the price. He could easily afford it because he was wealthy, but he was also very miserly with his money. The wolf stormed out of the tailor's shop determined to find the exact suit at a better price.

On his way home, he passed a small brick house that had the word TAILOR scrawled in chalk on the front door. He rang the bell and was greeted by a small black sheep. The wolf explained to the sheep what he wanted and the price that he was willing to pay. The sheep told him it was impossible to make a suit at that price using those fabrics. However, he could make him a very fine replica using paper instead of fabric. The sheep assured the wolf that no one would be the wiser.

Several days later, the wolf went to pick up his clothes. As promised, the sheep had made an exact copy of the suit he had wanted, only it was made entirely of paper. The wolf was most pleased that he had saved so much money.

On the big day, the Wolf strutted into the ballroom feeling like a million bucks in his suit. As the sheep had promised, none of the animals could tell it was made of paper. In fact, all the lady animals wanted to dance with him. The band started off by playing slow numbers to get the crowd warmed up. The wolf danced cheek to cheek with half a dozen ladies. As the night went on, the music got faster and faster and so did the wolf's dancing. He started sweating profusely and his suit became rather damp. This didn't stop the wolf who liked being the center of attention. When the band began playing a disco tune, he starting dancing frantically, trying to impress everyone with his Saturday Night Fever moves. All of a sudden, there was a loud ripping sound followed by a gasp from the crowd. The wolf had completely ripped out of his paper suit and stood naked before all the animals who were now pointing and bellowing with laughter.

Moral of the story: Never wear sheep paper clothes because they are tearable.